Turn Triggers into Treasures with Catherine Just

Using the Four Agreements and the Toltec Practices

The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable with your Word.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions.

4. Always Do Your Best

A trigger is a gift from the Universe handed to you on a Silver Platter.

It’s a Clue that something from our past - usually our childhood - hasn’t been healed yet.

When you’re triggered you get another opportunity to heal the original wound and connect with the person in front of you even more deeply than before.

When you recognize that no one is doing anything to you, you’re get to take responsibility for your own reactions and get to the bottom of it which then gives you personal freedom to no longer be triggered. You don’t have to react when other people are being themselves.

We react - take things personally - make assumptions:

Driving on the Freeway.

In Relationship is the only way to know what you haven’t healed yet. You can read all the books but until you’re triggered inside relationship you won’t know what’s still waiting for you to be healed.

HOW

Someone says something that triggers you. Or they don’t text you back. They don’t show up. They say something that hurts your feelings.

Awareness - Somatic Awareness - It’s in your body.

What happens when you have that physical reaction - do you yell? Shut down? Get quiet? Storm out of the room?

Instead. Learn how to create space between what your body is telling you and how you react with your words. You learn this by becoming very aware of what’s happening. Being Present with yourself. Noticing.

When you notice it - tell them your version of

“ I’m in reaction and I know this has nothing to do with you, it has something to do with me and my past. I need to step away and take a moment to calm my nervous system down. I’ll be back so we can talk this through when I’m not in reaction”

Go Drink Water. Write it out. Get to the core wound.

Share this finding with them if it’s safe to do so.

”When you did or said X I reacted because it reminds me of ………Y”

”I felt scared. Vulnerable. Powerless and wanted to protect myself by yelling at you. I thought I knew why you said it - why you did it - and wanted to punish you based on my own interpretation of what happened.

I want to understand you and what you meant by….X and hear more about where you’re coming from and not make assumptions and not take it personally. I want to listen and learn about you.”

Practicing this over time you’d become less and less reactive and more interested in clarifying what people mean. You’ll become more loving with yourself when you do react. You’ll be very aware when you’re making assumptions and taking something personally.

You’ll stop blaming the world around you “ If only they would change my life would be better”.

You’ll stop expecting others to behave the way you think they SHOULD.

You’ll recognize that this is your BOOK OF LAW

and they have their own Book of Law.